One-Sentence Highlights From Brent's Life - 2/5 - 5/5/13

2/5/13

High highs, then some other complications, unexpected bumps, questions, wishing, dwelling.

　

2/6/13

Met my new "Integration Group."

　

2/7/13

I was feeling kind of heavy and beat-down, not in the mood to talk, and I mentioned like, "I think I need some burning sage to help cleanse my energy," and David Ames actually went and got some sage and burned it while giving me a blessing which really helped me open up and it was the nicest, most special thing anyone has done for me in a long time and I'm so thankful and appreciative.

　

2/8/13

Before noon I was so productive and "in the zone" at work, and then after that was so "zoned out.

　

2/9/13

Some major victories in the household situation.

　

2/10/13

Sometimes I feel so dramatic, like every single day with me is both "I'm the king of everything and I fucking love it," to "I hate everything and I want to die already," but I usually average it all out and just say I'm doing "fine" or "okay."

　

2/11/13

VITA went well, except I felt like Victoria was trying to make things unnecessarily complicated for me, but I know that's her job.

　

2/12/13

I got a free large pizza at Pie Hole for being one of their financiers, and the staff didn't think I was going to eat an entire 17-inch pizza all by myself in one sitting. lol

　

2/13/13

A lot of deep conversations with Glen, Bruce, my I-Group.

　

2/14/13

When I was still in bed in the morning, I got a text and it was from the last random guy I had a date with saying "Happy Valentintine's Day!" and it was really touching to me even though 1.) it's misspelled, and 2.) I still don't believe anything he says.

　

2/15/13

Tiffany Walls baby shower.

　

2/16/13

The Illinois governor showed up in the morning at VITA.

　

2/17/13

After midnight I decided to stop into Sofo instead of going to Mans Country and there I met Robert M. and his boyfriend Darren whom I took back to my place for an amazing 3-way.

　

2/18/13

Spent most of the day thinking I'd lost my talisman.

　

2/19/13

Casey came over to my place, then I went over to his place, then I came back home in the middle of the night and was too sleepy to go to work so I called in sick for the morning.

　

2/20/13

I ate a few sloppy joes and tots before leaving to go to what Sheri called my "men's meeting."

　

2/21/13

One of those strange Facebook things happened when I was Facebook chatting with someone (Joshua about possibly moving in together) who asked me how I knew someone else whom he knew (David A.) and right then the someone else Facebook-invited me to a Free Bradley Manning rally on Saturday and I just happened to be wearing my "Free Bradley Manning" t-shirt and we talked about it while riding the bus together that night.

　

2/22/13

Long story shorter, I just so happened to meet C-Baby (whose usual name, as it turns out, is Carlos) and he asked me out for a drink with some of his friends and I managed not to scream and jump up and down or anything.

　

2/23/13

I told everyone at Elizabeth Stone's 30th birthday party that I was leaving to go see Sharon Needles at Spin, but instead of doing that I stopped in for a drink at Downtown despite the 20 police cars and crowds of people who were rioting apparently.

　

2/24/13

I felt very happy and proud of myself that I was able to rent a van, move everything out of my storage unit into the van, then out of the van and into my apartment, and return the van in 3 hours.

　

2/25/13

Decided to go see Fourplay again and on the way home I ran into Val again who is pretty much the greatest person ever and I felt so fortunate to be surrounded by so many great people.

　

2/26/13

Since Gloria isn't at work this week (she usually takes a week of vacation during her birthday) the office manager and everyone comes to me which great overall but I got a little pain in my neck so I decided to get a massage instead of doing laundry.

　

2/27/13

One month after my New Warrior Training Adventure weekend, I feel so much different and my Integration Group has been very important to me.

　

2/28/13

This was the day when they had the mats laid out at the yoga anatomy class and David A. couldn't wait the 7 minutes that bus-tracker said the Western bus would be there so we took a taxi and I told him not to "get rooffied and passed around anymore".

　

3/1/13

Chip Reid from Muskogee told me that I was in a pick-up bar and therefore did not want to hear "I'll call you next Tuesday" as an answer, but hey, we all have things about ourselves that we need to work on.

　

3/2/13

My breakdown happened.

　

3/3/13

Virginia help me put my breakdown into perspective, and then I met up with Joshua and we spent time with the Temple Terraincognita.

　

3/4/13

I had a lot of things to get done on a Monday morning before work, then after work I did VITA which went well except for the last client who was a mentally-disabled 60 year-old woman whose tax return I could have pushed through easily except for the reviewers who were unwilling to just accept the obvious fact of her mental disability and insisted on putting her through interrogations that she was clearly not capable of handling, and Ellen was talking shit about the client right to her face and I'm quite sure Victoria probably has some mental issues of her own.

　

3/5/13

Saying goodbye FOREVER to Colin was good, but when he said, "Don't leave yet, can't we get naked first?" and then ended up giving me a lazy handjob while watching Millionaire Matchmaker was THE WORST and made me want to die.

　

3/6/13

I talked about my breakdown with my I-Group while never actually telling any of the specifics.

　

3/7/13

Didn't get much sleep, felt kind of beat-down, didn't do my homework for anatomy class, and didn't get to ride the bus with David A. after class.

　

3/8/13

I'd been excited about my first shamanic dream circle, but after still not getting much sleep I was probably the only one there who was actually literally asleep and dreaming.

　

3/9/13

Derek and I were planning to get together at 2:00, so at 2:20 I called him to find out where he was and he was still at home so we ended up not getting together.

　

3/10/13

Another really amazing week at Queer Dharma, except in my opinion Jon really needs to get laid.

　

3/11/13

My favorite television show Rupauls Drag Race airs Monday nights then usually I go into work early on Tuesdays to watch it over the internet, but I hadn't thought about the fact that taking Tuesday off from work would mean not watching it until Wednesday so I decided to re-schedule my regular Monday night VITA and go watch Rupauls Drag Race at a bar instead and I ended up leaving the place with Casey again.

　

3/12/13

Got my first rolfing, and I truly believe that my rolfer, Donald Soule, is a genius.

　

3/13/13

Someone was sharing a painful life experience and I broke out laughing which was really awful of me, but it was kind of like trying not to laugh in church.

　

3/14/13

At the final Thursday session of my anatomy for yoga teachers class I led everyone in a pranayama that incorporates dorsiflexion which I designed (well actually the teacher of the class, Shanna, mostly designed it).

　

3/15/13

The plan was to attend the makeup session of my anatomy class (even though I was one of fifteen students with perfect attendance) and then meet up at Downtown with a guy who might be semi-famous who is telling me that his name is Steve, but he canceled so I ended up going to Liars Club after class and meeting Sheri & Jeff there (and Michael and another Steve - hanging out with gays at Liars Club!)

　

3/16/13

Woke up in the morning when Otto jumped up on me, and I did not go to any museums or parades or festivities or anything, but I felt like my life was great.

　

3/17/13

I went to Second Unitarian Church in the morning and the Shambhala Center in the evening, and I'm not sure if I want to get more involved with either of them or withdraw membership from both of them.

　

3/18/13

I had a feeling that I really wanted to go to Chances Dances so after VITA that's what I did.

　

3/19/13

Called in sick to work for a half-day so I could stay in bed with a guy named Gabe whom I met at Chances Dances the night before.

　

3/20/13

Was having a bad time and went to I-Group annoyed but felt better after saying "fuck you" to everyone.

　

3/21/13

My first night at the P.I.T. (primary integration training) group and someone said something that gave me what they call a "charge," and I felt like I jumped out of my chair and was gasping and clutching pearls, shaking with anger at him, especially in the knees like an electrical current, like a maniacal serial killer or something, and after the group confronted it and processed my charge I felt like I'd survived a lightning strike.

　

3/22/13

Didn't sleep much, went to training seminar about emotional intelligence, dinner at Gyu-Kaku, supper at California Pizza Kitchen, another long talk with Chris ("bread crumbs"!?), and in the evening I went to The Flesh Hungry Dog Show at Jackhammer where there was a convention of The Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence.

　

3/23/13

Sister Dominatrix spanked me with a belt and she was really good at it and it was really amazing and I didn't realize until later how bruised my butt really was, so then when I went to Touche again that night to see the musicians I was proudly showing my bruised butt to anyone I could.

　

3/24/13

Spent a lot of time lying on the couch watching the college basketball tournament in the comfort of my own home and it felt good, and I wasn't planning to go to Queer Dharma but Jon contacted me so I decided to go and it turned out really good.

　

3/25/13

Dan the guy I live with came to VITA because I was unable to keep my mouth shut when he would blather on non-sense about taxes.

　

3/26/13

My plan was to go to work 9 to 5 then go do VITA again after that, but I ended up leaving work early to meet Joshua and look at an apartment which we decided we wanted to apply for then went bowling with Sheri and everyone because Tommy was in town.

　

3/27/13

At I-Group I talked about my issue of wanting to be stable versus wanting to be fun.

　

3/28/13

I refer to the "primary integration training" (P.I.T.), also called "facilitated integration group" (or F.I.G.), as the "fistpig" I-Group because it sounds like PIT / FIG, and this was the first session without facilitators which to me seemed really awkward and clunky but everyone else seemed fine with it.

　

3/29/13

Sexoflex recently came out with a new album and last weekend I was listening to "Piggy Piggy" and then I heard the song "Suck Dick, Eat Cheetos" and wondered what my life is coming to but then, magically, Gloria brought me a 3.5-ounce bag of Cheetos, so I re-committed to working hard and eating healthy and generally being a good boy.

　

3/30/13

Did a drag queen's taxes, got my haircut by Jimmy Ngo for the first time, went to Sheri's place and ate a lot of tacos, watching college basketball, showing people the bruises on my ass.

　

3/31/13

Decided to stay home all day watching television.

　

4/1/13

Took the party bus trip to Olive Garden / Red Lobster and met Richard, and it felt really decadent.

　

4/2/13

The only time I left my apartment all day was to shove Richard out the door at 8:40 and go to and back from my rolfing appointment, other than that I just stayed home napping and watching television.

　

4/3/13

I love chocolate-chip cookie-cake and I was in the same room with a delicious chocolate-chip cookie-cake and fixated on it, tormented by it, incapable of paying attention to anything else, until someone pissed me off and I told him, "For future reference, fuck you," but even though that was annoying I was really happy to be able to stop thinking about the cookie.

　

4/4/13

At the fistpig I-Group we did the trust exercise, then as I was leaving there I got a voicemail from Joshua that the apartment we signed the lease on and for which I mailed a check for first month's rent + security deposit was probably going to fall through after all.

　

4/5/13

After e-mailing and calling the company about my rent + security check and not getting a response, I put a stop-payment on the check, the first-ever stop-payment I've ever put on a check in my entire life, which put me in a bad mood.

　

4/6/13

There were so many things happening, but I stayed home watching college basketball, My Cat From Hell, and a dust bowl documentary (featuring Virginia Frantz) on PBS, and someone dressed as a Mexican wrestler knocked on the door.

　

4/7/13

It was the first time I'd meditated in a couple weeks which was good.

　

4/8/13

Had a good time going to The Call to watch Rupauls Drag Race then going home to watch the men college basketball championship.

　

4/9/13

I'm really good at my job for short periods of time functioning at a high level, but after a while I can't keep it up and I feel really beat-down.

　

4/10/13

I'd planned on going to the Cubs game to watch Richard sing the national anthem but it got called off, so I went to my Wednesday night I-group and ended up doing some pretty heavy work on myself.

　

4/11/13

I felt so extremely happy being with Sheri at Grandma Js then going to the Cubs game and hanging out with Richard for a couple hours after he sang the national anthem.

　

4/12/13

I don't like Fridays because I feel so worn-down from the week, but I do like Mondays because my mental state is so much more refreshed (which is probably because I get sex on the weekends and not during the week), so I was being snappish and Gloria gave me a 10 dollar bill and told me to go buy some drinks this weekend.

　

4/13/13

Good sex at Manscountry, felt sad about my last day of VITA, had a good time with Jon and Khai at Hamburger Marys for supper but afterward we went to a nightclub and Jon is awful at nightclubs.

　

4/14/13

Felt deep sadness.

　

4/15/13

I was in so much pain I didn't know what to do and it was a really dark place, so Sheri suggested a massage which I did and it started to reverse the pain trajectory then after the massage I went to Township to see The Eagles Of Lombard and Bobby Joe Ebola & The Children Macnuggits which was another big up for me.

　

4/16/13

Since I'd gotten so little sleep and was in so much pain the day before I'd expected to go into work feeling bad, but I actually felt better than I had in a long time.

　

4/17/13

There was rain.

　

4/18/13

There was some more rain, Sheri and I hung out after work, also I really came to respect Irwin.

　

4/19/13

I did something stupid and ended up lost in an enormous cemetery, but then at noon Philip picked me up in his car and we went to the New Warrior Training Adventure and I got to escort some men through the registration process and I slept behind the pulpit.

　

4/20/13

Working as a "man of service" at the N.W.T.A. was okay, I was thinking a lot about the time I spent with Bradley four years ago, and did some dancing in the sweat lodge and the drum circle was amazing.

　

4/21/13

The sun was coming up and we had cakes on the griddle, but left the N.W.T.A. and went to Queer Dharma in the evening which was good and Bill drove me home.

　

4/22/13

Victor the landlord called me and we set up an appointment to meet Thursday morning so I'm going to hold my breath that it will all go according to plan.

　

4/23/13

People have said things like "king energy" and "living in his king" and I felt like I was living in my king for at least half of the day which was good.

　

4/24/13

The homecoming / celebration / ceremony of the N.W.T.A. was really good, then afterward my regularly scheduled I-group went out for Mexican food and margaritas.

　

4/25/13

A huge day in my life, full speed: picked up keys to my new apartment, rode the Clark bus with Adam (the Princess) to bikram, rolfing appointment that I could barely stay awake for, during all my train trips I worked hard on memorizing the calling in the directions, Dining Out For Life at Wishbone on Washington, saw the Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche bless the new Shambhala Center, went to my PIT / FIG group meeting early for the leader meeting, did a great job at calling in the directions from memory, admitted that I'd drunk alcohol and smoked marijuana prior to the previous meeting without disclosing it to the group, Mike drove me to the red-line, got home shortly after 11.

　

4/26/13

I went to see the Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche talk at Roosevelt Chapel and there was a musical performance by a brass quintet and I felt happy to be alive and experiencing everything.

　

4/27/13

Moving saga 2013 (part 1): Dan brought a homeless stranger into the apartment, Rahm running along the lake, teenage girls lined up 12 hours early for Carly Rae Jepsen, laundry, it was a beautiful spring day and the new apartment was beautiful (like breath-takingly beautiful) and empty and I sat on the floor eating quesadillas and talking to my brother Bruce, then I didn't think it was going to be possible for me to do everything but somehow I found the strength to get up and do it, and the move wasn't completed yet but it was my first night sleeping in the new apartment.

　

4/28/13

Moving saga 2013 (part 2): I returned the U-Haul and the move was finished by 11:00a and I slept for awhile then went to practice with my new flag football team Ann Sather Sticky Bunz for the first time which was fun but physically I felt like I was pushing myself really far.

　

4/29/13

After work I stopped by my apartment at 5012 Clark for the last time then turned in the keys and walked to Joshua's place where I gave him his set of keys to our new place.

　

4/30/13

It was annoying getting ahold of Jim, but we ended up having a good conversation so I was glad that I did.

　

5/1/13

Woke up feeling that ecstatic sexual creative Beltane energy.

　

5/2/13

Baked brownies in the morning and the PIT / FIG group ate half the dish as we discussed shame.

　

5/3/13

Virginia and I went to Bar On Buena after work.

　

5/4/13

Opening day double-header of flag-football was fun, and the team went to Crew afterward.

　

5/5/13

After weeks of being really happy, I felt sadness but I was happy that the sadness wasn't over-powering.

One-Sentence Highlights From Brent's Life - 11/7/12 - 2/4/13

11/7/12

Before I'd gotten to sleep I'd heard Jon Stewart on the television in the living room say that Barack Obama was projected to have won the POTUS election, but then before 1:00a I woke up and heard Obama's acceptance speech on the television in the living room while I laid in bed.

　

11/8/12

Ever since the beginning of the year I've envisioned an improved, updated information system at work and working with people to make it happen was gratifying but then people deviate from my vision and it's so disheartening.

　

11/9/12

Amanda Palmer released her new music video "Do It With A Rockstar" which got me so excited for so many reasons.

　

11/10/12

The Amanda Palmer concert lived up to expectations, but what seemed more important was that I met a guy named Patrick and we went to lunch, did some grocery shopping and errands, then went back to his place and fucked which was so pure and magical and unplanned.

　

11/11/12

Went to Urban Village Church in the morning and Julian whom I met in 1999 and hadn't seen for many years happened to be there.

　

11/12/12

Someone I didn't know came up to me and said, "You've lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you," and I said, "Thank you. You look completely different too, so different I didn't even recognize you. Could you remind me of your name?", it was Albert, then because I'm super smooth like that, I said, "I'd like to think I remember attractive guys such as yourself."

　

11/13/12

The 30-day bikram challenge is rough.

　

11/14/12

I got up in the morning and it was deja-vu catching the same bus with the exact same people sitting in the exact same places and arriving at the studio the exact same time as the day before.

　

11/15/12

I became a financeer via Lendsquare for Pie Hole pizza place to open a second location across the street from where I live, where Clarks On Clark used to be.

　

11/16/12

The cast of Rupauls Drag Race season 5 was being officially announced one member at a time through various social media challenges and it got me so worked up.

　

11/17/12

I made some bad decisions, but it could've been worse, plus it was just one day.

　

11/18/12

Got up at 3:30 and was non-stop doing stuff until midnight, most notably during my lunch date with Patrick he told me that he'd been the president of the Log Cabin Republicans.

　

11/19/12

Four hours of sleep, then bikram and work, then Patrick and I went to the homeless youth art show then out a couple places (one of which was Sofo where Sara informed me of Liza's pregnancy!!!) before having more sex, and I got back home at midnight again.

　

11/20/12

Did bikram after work then went to Honky Tonk BBQ in Pilsen with Sheri, and got back home at midnight again.

　

11/21/12

When I'd enjoyed the Charlie Brown Halloween Special so much, they'd advertised the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special, so I rushed home from bikram to see it but it just wasn't the same watching it with Dan while he was explaining how he thinks the pyramids were made.

　

11/22/12

Relaxed most of the day watching television.

　

11/23/12

Sons Of Anarchy is the best television show to watch while quipping Rocky-Horror / MST3000 style, like, when I'm watching SOA, I really can not stop myself, but Tiffany and I had a lot of fun with it.

　

11/24/12

Watched the old movie Breakfast At Tiffanys for the first time and it blew my mind.

　

11/25/12

I don't know the details yet, but Susan, Sean, and Phin are leaving the Lakeview Church Of Christ next month. :(

　

11/26/12

A guy gave me an amazing handjob using some vibrators, and it really blew my mind.

　

11/27/12

I put up the Christmas tree at work.

　

11/28/12

Productive day: bikram (wearing a Speedo for the first time) was good, worked on several new projects at work, did some laundry.

　

11/29/12

The key-card that I got on 7/31/12 only worked for a couple months and then on 10/23 I e-mailed the key-card contact person, Lisa, about it and never heard anything back so I sent one follow-up e-mail and still never heard back about it so I've liked Lisa less and less ever since so when she asked if I could bring her printouts off the printer after mine were done, not only did I not bring them to her but I also felt the need to leave a post-it note on her printouts letting her know the reason why which is that I'm upset about not having a key-card, but later I thought about how that was a bratty thing to do and apologized.

　

11/30/12

We just decided to pretend like the weekly reports are also the monthly reports, because people seem not to remember how things have been done.

　

12/1/12

The skin on my penis hurt, but I think it was just from jerking and rubbing it raw so much.

　

12/2/12

I sat and had tea with Jon until 10 or so, but he said the reason he asked me to sit and have tea with him was not because of any recent hostilities.

　

12/3/12

Got my new key-card, which proves that acting like a brat does work, so yay me!

　

12/4/12

In previous years at work, we've sometimes gotten together to decide as a group who would be off which days around Christmas and I've never ever taken any time off work around Christmas, except I told everyone last year that this would be my year to take time off around Christmas (then I visited Oklahoma in July and changed my mind about going there during Christmas and was planning on doing the weekthun instead, but the people at work didn't need to know that) but then it was decided that I would have to take our floating holiday on Christmas Eve instead of New Years Eve like always so that would interfere with my weekthun plan and I rashly bought airplane tickets to Oklahoma.

　

12/5/12

I got lots of stuff to do at work all at once and it made me feel great and powerful.

　

12/6/12

For me strange days are routine and routine days are strange, and maybe it's just one of those things when there are lots of things going on in my life that I can't mentally emotionally handle it all so I project it onto something in the media or pop culture, but the one thing I've been most excited about all week is "Gangnam Style" by Psy reaching one billion views on Youtube (I know I'm late to the "Gangnam Style" party, I've seen it before but it never made that much of an impression so this week it's been my obsessive addictive jam, and it crossed 900,000,000).

　

12/7/12

I texted Sheri saying I didn't feel well which really just meant I felt like staying home and doing my regular Friday night thing instead of going out with her, which is so lame of me, I know.

　

12/8/12

Completing the 30-day bikram challenge, that's 30 sessions of bikram in 30 consecutive calendar days, is a huge accomplishment for me.

　

12/9/12

I was at Township for Jeffis's 44th birthday and people passed around a chocolate egg and everyone took a bite and it looked chocolatey delicious but I didn't realize it had marijuana in it until after I already took a bite, so even though I wasn't prepared to get high on marijuana that night I did but it turned out okay because I wasn't that high.

　

12/10/12

Alana Thompson (Honey Boo Boo)'s official Facebook posted a phone number saying that Lee Thompson (Uncle Poodle) is single now, which is obviously a prank, but I called the phone number less than one minute after it was posted and someone answered and there were little girls screaming in the background then the man who answered yelled profanities and hung up so I truly do believe that it really was Lee with his nieces in the background which is exciting yet frustrating for me but I'm sure it is for him too.

　

12/11/12

Lots of feelings about the last Sex-Positive Film Series.

　

12/12/12

There was an incident on the Clark bus when I got off, it was crowded and this woman had no reason to get up and go stand by the door, but in my mind I labeled her "privelaged princess pushy asshole" etc. which was unfair because I never met her yet the fact remains that she had no reason to get up on a crowded bus and go stand by the door.

　

12/13/12

Heaven / Hell, suicidal to ecstatic, doing bikram and going out to Hydrate to see Mimi Imfurst were both Heaven.

　

12/14/12

I actually did not stay out very late, but got up hungover and went into work and felt absolutely awful suicidal Hell again but work was busy and I felt better after a couple hours then after work I went to Derrick & Michael's (guys I met at Hydrate the night before) party.

　

12/15/12

I cooked stuff and went to Lisa & Udi's dinner party where I was absolutely enthralled in conversation about history, economics, politics, etc.

　

12/16/12

I was really into the Lakeview Church Of Christ for a minute there, and then in the evening at Queer Dharma I turned out to be the one in charge which was unexpected but I acted normal and everything turned out great.

　

12/17/12

Jon and I went to the orchestra, and while we were there made friends with a 25 year-old from China named Shengtian.

　

12/18/12

Greatly enjoyed Homolatte with Julian (whom I recently reconnected with on November 11) and Lars and Scott, and both performers, Jarrett Neal and Jakob Paul.

　

12/19/12

Attended my first "open circle" at the Mankind Project.

　

12/20/12

Was fascinated reading Erik Rhodes Tumblr.

　

12/21/12

"Gangnam Style" reaced 1,000,000,000 views on Youtube.

　

12/22/12

I rented the movie Magic Mike from Specialty Video and it made me wish I were het so I thought I'd go out to a str8 club but I just ended up relaxing at Kopi drinking absinthe.

　

12/23/12

First thing in the morning I wrote out a list of things to do and I accomplished the most important tasks on the list, except the computers at the library were closed for renovations which was annoying.

　

12/24/12

Travel day, home to Chicago's O'hare airport to Oklahoma City's Will Rogers airport to meet Bryan, Darla, Matthew, and Kathryn in their van to drive to Guymon to meet our parents.

　

12/25/12

My first family Christmas since I've been an adult, and there was lots of family there.

　

12/26/12

Not very many people showed up at the Guymon Church Of Christ Wednesday evening worship, but I led a song.

　

12/27/12

Ate breakfast with my 3rd-cousin Josh and lunch with Amada, and Glen took Matthew and I to his regular afternoon coffee.

　

12/28/12

The ones who'd traveled from Oklahoma City to Guymon went back the same way, then I checked into a hotel and met up with Bruce.

　

12/29/12

The hotel I was staying at is known for gay men having promiscuous sex, so that was mainly what I did all day besides taking a break from that and spending time with Bruce.

　

12/30/12

Flew from Oklahoma City airport back to Chicago, went to The Glenwood with the Queer Dharma people.

　

12/31/12

The office at work closed early, and I attended the 10:30p bikram session at the Lincoln Park studio.

　

1/1/13

Kind of the whole highlight of my day was seeing Sheri naked in the bathtub.

　

1/2/13

Signed up for the class Anatomy For Yoga Teachers at Moksha yoga studio.

　

1/3/13

Even though there had been advantages to the outage at work all week long, during the noon hour connectivity was restored so I just didn't feel like doing anything for the rest of the day except browse the internet.

　

1/4/13

I felt unhappy at work again, but then I went to Laura's and we went to see Zoolights at the Lincoln Park Zoo which was very fun and exciting and joyous.

　

1/5/13

Two different 7-11s did not have jalepeno & cream cheese taquitos so I stopped at Linda Guadalajara and watched the snow.

　

1/6/13

Met a 90 year-old man who'd been in a Japanese internment camp (and he seemed to be a really happy carefree person), also Andrew the guy I worked with came to The Glenwood.

　

1/7/13

Elizabeth S. asked me how my day was and I said "six and a half," because there are so many things I could be doing but I get stuck and I just have to work with being stuck.

　

1/8/13

Not happy to find out that the Shambhala Center was sold to James Pritzker who plans to build a 4-floor parking garage there, but very happy and excited during my interview session at Mankind Project.

　

1/9/13

Got home from work before 7:00p and Dan had the heat at 80 degrees and the television on loudly but was not watching it and I was like "What is going on with life?"

　

1/10/13

The first session of my yoga anatomy class made me unexpectedly squeamish, which I'm going to need to get over.

　

1/11/13

After my anatomy for yoga class the night before, I was overly conscious of my joints and bone cartilage.

　

1/12/13

I was feeling dour the way I usually do on Saturday nights thinking how there's something amazing going on that I'll probably miss out on so I just went to Mans Country where I got one of the best blowjobs of my life which really improved my mood.

　

1/13/13

My first Ocean Of Devotion gong wash sound meditation at the Temple Synphoria.

　

1/14/13

Since I use public services, public transit, public laundromat, etc., I encounter a lot of people whom I'm sure did not intentionally set out to be assholes and yet it somehow ended up that they're in public acting like an asshole.

　

1/15/13

I went to Homolatte because I enjoy it and want to support it, but it was so full that I decided it didn't need my support that night and I left.

　

1/16/13

Rahm was on the brown line when I got on, and Braun Thies was born.

　

1/17/13

When I got home from my anatomy for yogis class, the kitchen and bathroom were clean so apparently the long-delayed professional cleaning crew appointment actually happened finally.

　

1/18/13

I know the project that everyone at work is doing is ridiculous and pointless, but it was a long day of work which made me feel good, and Reed left.

　

1/19/13

Met this guy Sid whom I'm riding with in his car to the "New Warrior Training Adventure" next weekend.

　

1/20/13

Enjoyed the presentation at Second Unitarian Church in the morning, and in the evening Jon and I had another one of our good long talks.

　

1/21/13

Enjoyed the rhetoric of the part of the inauguration that I saw, went to Lincolnwood Olive Garden, saw a movie with Jeremiah.

　

1/22/13

Second long day of manual labor not so enjoyable, and I felt really down.

　

1/23/13

Work was a little bit better than the day before, and the weather was a little bit less cold than the day before.

　

1/24/13

Started to understand anatomy more during the third session of my Anatomy For Yogis class.

　

1/25/13

Got up early to cook, went to work, left work early and went to the New Warrior Training Adventure weekend which I was immediately drawn into and loved it.

　

1/26/13

Wow, this was the day when the New Warrior Training Adventure really changed my life.

　

1/27/13

I didn't want to leave.

　

1/28/13

Still too much energy to sleep very much, I felt all stirred up, but I know I did it for a purpose, not just stirring shit up for the hell of it, but I had so much energy without a direction for it, and certain things felt really urgent, like it was going to give me cancer, and things at work could not compete so I quit trying to do work stuff and e-mailed some of my warrior brothers.

　

1/29/13

First good night's sleep since Thursday, I went to work (always feeling sexy in the sweater vest) and had a whole new momentum and clarity so that when I got into an argument with the office manager it wasn't that big of a deal and we all went about our business feeling fine about everything.

　

1/30/13

Sheri came to the homecoming / graduation / celebration of the New Warrior Training which, when I spoke at, I said I didn't want to say it had been life-changing since it'd only been two days but then when I got home from it was my first time running into the guy I dated a year ago and considering that I've spent so much of the past ten months fantasizing about all the ways I was going to bash his face in whenever we ran into each other again, I just calmed myself down and went about my business while he hid from me and I felt like a big strong powerful man for doing that, so just being able to handle that one situation differently, the New Warrior Training really did change my life.

　

1/31/13

During the break in our anatomy class I just laid on the floor in the middle of the loud conversations of my classmates and took a power-nap which felt great.

　

2/1/13

Wanted to go out somewhere and do something, ended up at @mosphere which was nice, met a bunch of people, talked to a bunch of people, had a good night.

　

2/2/13

Went on a date with Kristian Edward something Kilgore (he said he has four names because he's Irish, but I basically don't believe anything he says, but he's hot so whatever) whom I met the night before at @mosphere and we went back to his place, which was the first orgasm I had in over a week.

　

2/3/13

A long day of sadness and happiness and fun and accomplishments.

　

2/4/13

My first night doing VITA for the season went well, no exceptional cases.

One-Sentence Highlights From Brent's Life 8/9 - 11/6/12

8/9/12

It was a highly productive day at work, and Glo was out sick that day which may or may not be related to me being so productive.

　

8/10/12

When I got home that night, there were a couple of 23 year-old guys over.

　

8/11/12

Netflix recently de-listed the DVD for the movie adaptation of the Dennis Cooper novel Frisk, so I got a membership at Nationwide Video and rented it there.

　

8/12/12

Joy at Lakeview Church Of Christ (Andrew Langford's girlfriend) is leaving Chicago apparently so everyone gathered around and told her how much she means to them.

　

8/13/12

Went to Paradise because it was rainy and there were a lot of guys there, probably because it was rainy.

　

8/14/12

The highly anticipated Asexual documentary at the Sex-Positive Film Series was every bit as good as I thought it'd be.

　

8/15/12

Started working on a new writing project, Bobby Joe Ebola & The Children Macnuggits released the "Life Is Excellent" video, the bikram instructor reminded me of Very Mary-Kate.

　

8/16/12

At work I started working on an awful project of questionable merit with Valerie.

　

8/17/12

Don from next door yelled at me, which was not a good way of introducing his vision for a back-rooftop-deck beautification project, and the eyes could not be stopped from rolling when he said his next step would be to file a police report, lol.

　

8/18/12

Woke up in the morning wondering whether the Contentment In Everyday Life class at The Shambhala Center started at 8:30 or 9:00, so I wasn't sure I would make it but I did (it started at 9:30) and it was fantastic, just like everyone said it'd be.

　

8/19/12

The second day of Contentment In Everyday Life was good, and then at Queer Dharma in the evening we did contemplation on the five skandhas which was intense and amazing and people loved it.

　

8/20/12

Wasn't sure what I'd do after work, but when I got off the train the pocket-gay who runs the projector at the Lakeview Church Of Christ got off the same train at the same station so I followed him for several blocks and he passed by Big Chicks but I stopped in for $1 burger night.

　

8/21/12

I'm aware that I got to work at like 8:50 in the morning maybe two or three times recently, but the word "late" never enters my mind, and I also realize it's the office manager's job to make the word "late" enter into my mind just like it's my job to pretend like I have lofty intentions of doing everything perfectly.

　

8/22/12

At Jill's exercise class, we did one of those 10, 9, 8, etc. repeater classes and when I was doing the 10, 9, 8 reps it seemed impossible, but when I was down to the 5, 4, 3, 2 reps I felt really strong and powerful.

　

8/23/12

Felt particularly horny all day, especially during bikram, so I'd been thinking of going to Mans Country and getting the room with the computer and internet access which is what I did but then around midnight I was looking at Facebook and Billy Aikens who has a long history of disrupting the contentment I feel with my own life Tweeted a photo of Cher at Splash Bar NYC so everytime that Mans Country played a Cher song that night (which was several times) I felt more discontent with my life.

　

8/24/12

*DERON???

The All-CEDA meeting held this year at The Third Baptist Church building at 95th & Ashland went okay, the highlight for me being the speech by DeRon, an alum of CEDA's educational talent search program and dancer on Madonna's last tour (someone whose dance moves I actually emulate because Madonna emulated them).

　

8/25/12

With everything I did all day, the C.T.A. was a motherfucking thorn in my side, and I've always felt about the C.T.A. how parents must feel with their children, sometimes good experiences and sometimes bad experiences but there's a basic love, but recently my opinion has become more like, "Fuck Chicago. I want to leave this city."

　

8/26/12

I discussed the novel Native Son by Richard Wright with Marvin, Virginia, and Laura.

　

8/27/12

Finally spent >$200 (before tax) at Native Foods Café and earned my first $10 credit.

　

8/28/12

I felt such a need to do bikram at 6:00 in the morning, but it wasn't a very good experience.

　

8/29/12

Glee season 3 disk 2 which I watched last week was good, but Glee season 3 disk 3 (which includes the awful awful Michael Jackson episode) was not good.

　

8/30/12

I'd somehow thought that the office at my storage place stayed open until 7:00p (it didn't) but I talked with John Hannes on the bus over to it.

　

8/31/12

Met Keith and we drove to Cedar Point campground and Mazo Beach.

　

9/1/12

Camping was pretty good, lots of spiritual realizations listening to the trees, and left the beach to go back home that night even though I really wanted to stay.

　

9/2/12

My uncle Gary died shortly after being taken off life-support.

　

9/3/12

Laura's 31st birthday dinner.

　

9/4/12

Ordered my 2013 calendar custom-printed from my Flickr photos.

　

9/5/12

Heard Michelle Obama's DNC speech and thought a lot about the "satisfaction of a hard day's work" part and it really boosted my productivity at work at least for the one day.

　

9/6/12

Rode the bus and train with AvilleSean, after work went to running workout in Oz park, got home and watched Glee (while Dan watched the DNC) and enjoyed Kurt's "Music Of The Night / Not The Boy Next Door".

　

9/7/12

Decided no to doing the Shambhala Level 2, decided yes to hot tub and macaroni & cheese.

　

9/8/12

Got so much done (including assembling the piano) before going to roller derby.

　

9/9/12

On my way to Paradise, there was a parade happening on Montrose.

　

9/10/12

I started to get annoyed with the Chicago teachers union.

　

9/11/12

A guy on the train was telling everyone a story about himself and asking for money, saying he would do anything to earn it, and I really wanted to pay him for sex.

　

9/12/12

Called in sick to work, the only thing I had to eat all day was a bag of Candy Corn Oreos with milk and the whole time I was eating it, Dan was telling me his dream of saving up $200,000 in the next ten years and building something like the Earth-ships in New Mexico, so I hope he's some kind of insane genius becuase he's definitely insane.

　

9/13/12

It hurt my feelings to find out there had been free food (from multiple places) the day before while I was away.

　

9/14/12

I'm becoming more sympathetic with the Chicago teachers union everyday.

　

9/15/12

Got a message that Tommy and Andrew were visiting so I spent the day with Sheri and the Davises, and they gave me a bicycle.

　

9/16/12

I felt very attracted to a guy named Matt at Queer Dharma and Jon thought Matt was flirting with me too.

　

9/17/12

At work I'm helping the Records department put copies of checks into files all week long, then at 5:00 I sat in my cubicle surfing the internet because really I didn't have anything better to go home to.

　

9/18/12

When I was about to leave work I was checking Facebook one last time and saw a sidebar ad saying "Amy Goodman in Chicago 9/18" so I was like '9/18? That's today!' and I clicked on it and saw that she would be speaking at 6:00p at Columbia College for free so I went there and saw it which was inspiring.

　

9/19/12

Watched a bunch of television before going to Mans Country for a free night in celebration of their 40th anniversary, except it was $1 and only 3 hours, so whatever.

　

9/20/12

I've gone to every Madonna tour since I've been an adult, but I knew this time I was deciding not to go and I knew it'd be a stressful decision.

　

9/21/12

The highly anticipated documentary How To Survive A Plague opened at The Music Box Theater (highly anticipated as in seeing it on September 21 at the Music Box had been written into my schedule for over two months) and it was good, but I did hope for more.

　

9/22/12

I got my official membership pin at the Shambhala Center's Harvest Of Peace day.

　

9/23/12

So many things happened, still feeling blah about everything.

　

9/24/12

Saw The Daily Show with host Jon Stewart and guest Salman Rushdie, and it was the first time I ever actually watched that video of Romney's 47% speech.

　

9/25/12

Excellent exercise class.

　

9/26/12

Sallie Mae has been charging me > 12% interest, so I transferred most of that balance to a Chase Bank 0% until November 2013 promotion (with a 2% fee) which might pose some risk but I really do think it's a good move and I can be completely out of debt by November 2013.

　

9/27/12

Gloria was tired all day from being out at the Prince concert late, and I was moody but I just chilled instead of acting out.

　

9/28/12

David the guy I lived with's mother announced that her other son (whom David doesn't talk about) would be on Shark Tank (which is a television show I've watched for several months) with his business Liz Lovely Cookies (which are cookies I love) and I was excited about it all day.

　

9/29/12

I left the apartment to go to Slutwalk which was good.

　

9/30/12

In the morning I went to Urban Village Church for the first time, and in the evening Jon did his scheduled dharma talk about queerness.

　

10/1/12

I was trying to figure out the monthly report when I was told that auditors would be coming tomorrow so I needed to quit doing that and go help the records department some more.

　

10/2/12

The first news item I got in the morning announced the death of Sahara Davenport, so I was sad about that all day and thinking especially how sad it is when a drag queen dies.

　

10/3/12

Several times recently, I've had a hard time leaving my cubicle after work - like sometimes how people have a hard time getting out of bed, except with me it's logging off the internet and walking to the train - and then I've just wandered around the streets aimlessly, like Cain after he was cursed for murdering Abel.

　

10/4/12

At 1:00a I got up and went to Banana then to La Ranchita at 3 where I saw this year's Presidential debate 1; the sound wasn't on, but I thought they both looked botoxed.

　

10/5/12

Julia's art reception at Eyeporium was nice.

　

10/6/12

Virginia and I met for breakfast at Bongo Room which was nice and she told me about her newest problems, then she stopped into my place for a little while which was important to me because she's the first person I've known outside of my current apartment to visit it.

　

10/7/12

Lakeview Church Of Christ was so good that I signed up for their e-mail list, and in Queer Dharma we finally finished reading Lodro Rinsler's book Buddha Walks Into A Bar.

　

10/8/12

When Sheri / Jeff gave me the bicycle that someone else had bought at a yard sale and given them, I waited for my C.T.A. pass to expire then used the bicycle as my main transportation but that only lasted 2 days before I realized I'm not able to go back to hard-core bicycling right now so I took the money I'd budgeted for buying a bicycle helmet and used it instead for renewing my C.T.A. pass.

　

10/9/12

I was undecided about whether to go to the Sex-Positive Film Series or to do laundry, but then I read Clarisse's announcement that the Sex-Positive Film Series would be ending after December and I went to it, The Fall Of Womenland, and Clarisse is really bringing it with these last films.

　

10/10/12

The Mitt Romney presidential campaign has paid so much money to Facebook and Youtube that strange things occasionally happen, and in the morning on the scrolling, real-time sidebar at the right of the screen it said that someone had Facebook-liked Mitt Romney whom I did not expect to have Facebook-liked Mitt Romney so once I confirmed with him that he had never, in fact, Facebook-liked Mitt Romney I disabled my Facebook profile and gave the reason why as a political protest.

　

10/11/12

Ate at Panda.

　

10/12/12

I'd been thinking about trying to transcend my own personal ego and seeing life for what it really is, so I planned out this weekend when I wasn't doing anything else to consume marijuana and see if I could transcend space and time, but as marijuana weekend approached I felt afraid of what might happen so I walked around the Baha'i House Of Worship and asked for blessings.

　

10/13/12

It happened - in the morning I consumed marijuana and it was like an explosion inside my head transcending space and time.

　

10/14/12

Slept most of the day as planned, but also in the plan was feeling well enough in time to go to Queer Dharma which happened also.

　

10/15/12

After work I stopped into Linda Guadalajara and Lucy was there, then I texted my parents telling them to pray for me which freaked them out.

　

10/16/12

Went to Vie twice in one day, and when I got home Dan was watching this year's Presidential debate 2 on live television which seemed kind of raucous.

　

10/17/12

Was feeling better, joyous a little bit, about life - conversation with Reed, comedic performers in Steppenwolf parking garage, lounging out on the couch watching ABC sitcoms, meeting Jon at Kopi.

　

10/18/12

Called in sick to work, stayed home all day, shaved face and head.

　

10/19/12

Went to Halloween haunted house at Theater On The Lake with Jon, Laura, & Tara.

　

10/20/12

Jogging with Frontrunners group, and then did bikram.

　

10/21/12

It was the first time I told anyone about my plan to move out of Chicago, maybe to another city or back to Guymon for maybe a year or two.

　

10/22/12

Watched this year's Presidential debate 3 on live television while doing laundry at the laundromat.

　

10/23/12

It was the fifth day in a row of doing bikram, and I got a feeling of great bliss emptiness like I was having an acid flashback.

　

10/24/12

I decided to go to another group sex party even though the last few I went to were not that fun, and when I showed up there were several police officers there and we were told the sex party would start as soon as they cleared up some business which seemed ominous.

　

10/25/12

Slept in, so after work I was planning to go to the late bikram session but I didn't get there because bus tracker was inaccurate.

　

10/26/12

It was the first time I ever did bikram twice in one day, and it was both at the Lincoln Park studio, 6:00a and 6:30p.

　

10/27/12

Did not leave my apartment all day long, just hung out with gnats.

　

10/28/12

Did bikram, then planned to go to the Sunday morning meditation at the Shambhala Center and got on the bus with my wallet but did not have my wallet when I got off the bus.

　

10/29/12

Madonna was the guest on The Ellen Show and there was an "inspiring words" segment that I really loved; also, it was my first time ever doing bikram in the mezzanine room at the Lincoln Park Studio.

　

10/30/12

After work I went jogging along the lakefront with the gay runners group in spite of the Arctic cold front and the lakeside flood advisory.

　

10/31/12

I felt like a child (in a happy way) watching "It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" although I wish it could've pre-empted Suburgatory instead of The Middle.

　

11/1/12

It was the first day of National Novel Writing Month, and while I did not actually write anything for NaNoWriMo I did make a spreadsheet for it because I like making spreadsheets for things more than I actually like doing those things.

　

11/2/12

Went to Prentice Women's Hospital near The Magnificent Mile to visit Virginia until it was time for her to be discharged and spent the rest of the day making sure she was okay.

　

11/3/12

Saw the 8:00p performance of Cyndi Lauper's Broadway musical Kinky Boots.

　

11/4/12

Excited that I was able to find my birth certificate in my storage unit.

　

11/5/12

Thursday I had a yoga mat in the morning but by the evening I'd somehow lost it without ever doing yoga that day, then the next morning since I was off work to be with Virginia I called Gloria and asked her to look for it telling her exactly where it'd be so she looked and said it wasn't there, then I bought another yoga mat for >$50 over the weekend only to get into work Monday morning to find my lost yoga mat exactly where I'd told Gloria.

　

11/6/12

From the time I left home and got to the polling place and then voted and got back home was less than one hour so it really wasn't that bad, but it was still the worst experience voting I've ever had, the election workers were just figuring things out and lots of people complaining because we're not accustomed to that level of human interaction.

One-sentence highlights from Brent's life 5/11 - 8/8/12

8/8/12

In the morning I went to an exercise class, then during noon I was at work demonstrating some of the exercises and I fell over which was incredibly hilarious.

　

8/7/12

Went to 7-11 for my favorite food, then bought some blueberries at the farmer's market which was also delicious.

　

8/6/12

Straightened out the bullshit with the rent, ate and drank a lot at Big Chicks $1 burger (and faux hot dog) night.

　

8/5/12

Heartstrong at Second Unitarian Church.

　

8/4/12

Stayed out all night having some good sex, then woke up at 2 in the afternoon and Dan the guy I live with was upset with me because the landlord said we were behind in rent, and I was all like, "Aww hells nawwwhh."

　

8/3/12

Got an unexpected bonus and it threw off my day trying to figure out how to use it.

　

8/2/12

Updated my Flickr.

　

8/1/12

Called in sick to work just because it was the first day of the month and I'd hardly ever get to take off work on the first because of monthly reports.

　

7/31/12

Another happily uneventful day but I did go to Roly Poly for lunch which was insufferably cute, also got new keycard finally.

　

7/30/12

Finished off the Subway Sandwich Shop gift card that Virginia got me for my birthday with a delicious premium sandwich.

　

7/29/12

The pitcher incident made me question my sanity and I texted Sheri "5 out of 5 sad pandas :(".

　

7/28/12

The experience of doing the Daredevil Dive at Six Flags blew my mind.

　

7/27/12

Once again, I didn't do a very good job at work but I decided to blame that on the fact that my keycard completely quit working not even a little bit, thereby lowering my work morale by making me feel undervalued.

　

7/26/12

I didn't do as good of a job at work as I had the past couple days, but it felt like I was sacrificing doing good at work for other types of personal mental health.

　

7/25/12

Dan the guy I live with told me that his father and father's girlfriend would be coming over and eating chicken wings so I went out aimlessly and just so happened to end up at a bar where a sex party was about to happen but I was in 0% mood for a sex party.

　

7/24/12

The acting director of the department thought I didn't look busy enough, so thankfully she found me some more work to do.

　

7/23/12

Since the fiscal year has been closed out at work, this was the day that the next deep round of layoffs dropped, and it felt like carnage.

　

7/22/12

I knew I'd have a 6-hour layover in Denver on Sunday (unlike the layover Wednesday which was only planned to be 2 hours) so I'd thought maybe I could find a theater to go watch Dark Knight Rises at and it turned out that the theater where the shooting happened is 17.2 miles away from Denver International Airport but it's closed for a couple weeks because the terrorists always win and I ended up just walking aimlessly around downtown Denver for several hours, except I did go through Aurora on the bus and I swear I did not realize the bus would go through Aurora until I was there.

　

7/21/12

Got up before sunrise and went on a walk with Glen and spent a lot more time with my parents, including sky-gazing and funny-picture-taking time.

　

7/20/12

First thing in the morning while I was looking at the internet, a message came up announcing that there'd been a mass-shooting at a movie theater and all day long it gave everyone some distraction to talk about besides the heat and drought.

　

7/19/12

The airplane crew told us that we touched down in Amarillo at 12:38a then Glen and I got to Guymon around 3:00.

　

7/18/12

Had an unexpected layover for about 12 hours in Denver so instead of standing in line for who-knows how long and arguing, I got on the public bus and spent the day at Boondocks Fun Center which turned out to be the most fun I've had in years and years.

　

7/17/12

Watched the Netflix DVD movie Life During Wartime and told Dan to turn his stuff down because he'd have several days without me.

　

7/16/12

Went to Marble with some people.

　

7/15/12

The singing at the Church Of Christ was amazing.

　

7/14/12

Had sex with a guy named Mike who I really liked, but it was difficult for me to relax and Mike wasn't listening to me.

　

7/13/12

Got all the files out of my office, hoping the fiscal year will be okay to close, felt vacant.

　

7/12/12

After another long, busy day at work, I went home and watched Million Dollar Baby which was touching.

　

7/11/12

When anyone ever said that Wednesday would be the final cut-off for the fiscal year I never really believed them, but I have been working really hard at work ever since that meeting on July 2.

　

7/10/12

I had to do that awful thing with my credit card at the bank and I fell into a time / space wormhole vortex.

　

7/9/12

Work, exercise class with Jill, watched Devils Rejects on DVD, and the guy I live with told me he was auditioning for American Idol the next day at The United Center.

　

7/8/12

A close friend revealed to me that he recently contracted HIV.

　

7/7/12

Walked around my block in my high heels, then Sheri and I went to Tweet where a lot of people felt the need to comment about my high heels.

　

7/6/12

The Oklahoma Burger at Native Foods Café is a million times better than any burger that you can actually get in Oklahoma.

　

7/5/12

Before watching Hostel 3 on DVD, I warned the guy I live with that I was going to watch a horror movie because I don't want to freak him out.

　

7/4/12

Monday I went to the doctor and had blood drawn; Tuesday they called and said I don't have HIV or syphilis (and I commented, "Oh well, better luck next time I guess"); then Wednesday I was getting fucked bareback by a stranger (he was so hot and it felt so good) and he said, "Do you want my load in your ass?" and even though I really really did want it, I made him pull out.

　

7/3/12

Had my first personal training session in 3 months (with the same trainer at the same place as 3 months ago) and several parts of me died.

　

7/2/12

There was a meeting at work about how we're expecting a deluge of files and to be working overtime etc. so that night when I was about to get a Hepatitus B vaccine and the nurse told me that my arm might be sore for one or two days, I decided not to get the vaccine which precipitated an argument with my primary care physician who revealed himself to be a huge douchebag.

　

7/1/12

Got home around 12:07a (and decided that was too late to go to Mans Country) and laid out on the rooftop deck in the back of my apartment feeling very happy and content, even though I was aware that my birthday (and by extension, my life) was not exactly how I'd wanted it to be, I knew it was a choice to be joyful.

　

6/30/12

Since it was my birthday I bought myself my first-ever pair of high-heeled shoes (and damn are they ever high heels!) and spent about 8 hours wearing them, and when people asked me why I was wearing high heels, I just said because it was my birthday and that makes complete sense.

　

6/29/12

At noon I ate at The Florentine in the building where I work with a couple of co-workers and met Craig the bartender, and at night I was at The Call telling people how important it was for them to know that I'm only 33 years old.

　

6/28/12

It was announced that Chief Justice Of The United States Supreme Court John Roberts's vote upheld the constitutionality of The Affordable Care Act which filled my soul with an indescribable feeling of hope.

　

6/27/12

Went home from work and watched The Runaways while Dan, surendipitously, was not at home.

　

6/26/12

Sometimes at lunch I like to go to the Ogilvie Station food court.

　

6/25/12

Did laundry for the first time all month (since moving so it was the first time for me at this laundromat), also fantasized about George a lot still after we became Facebook-friends.

　

6/24/12

After 4 Suyos, I met Jeff and Sheri at Mutiny for some lgbtq musical performances (love the band Bad Bad Meow) and Tiffany and George from supper showed up too, which got me all excited because I had such a good time talking with George all night but then as I was going home before 2:00a I got all depressed about it.

　

6/23/12

Supper with a bunch of people at the restaurant 4 Suyos for Corinna's birthday, with Tiffany and my birthdays being secondary.

　

6/22/12

I knew my morning commute on the red-line was as doomed as that bee everyone killed but still decided not to transfer to the brown-line for several reasons.

　

6/21/12

Back on track with another healthy and super-productive day.

　

6/20/12

FUNdamentals meeting.

　

6/19/12

Went to Township and got drunk.

　

6/18/12

Booked flights to and from Amarillo for next month.

　

6/17/12

Got home from the second (and last) day of my very first ever Shambhala class and took a nap, then called parents and texted Sheri then went back to Shambhala Center for my regular Sunday evening Queer Dharma.

　

6/16/12

After midnight went to Mans Country, then had my first day of my very first ever Shambhala class, went back to Mans Country again before midnight.

　

6/15/12

Feast Of Fun posted a free interview with Susan Powter (who was really famous in the 1990s) and she answered my question.

　

6/14/12

The bartender at Crew was a dumb bitch.

　

6/13/12

My damn rent check from a month ago finally got cashed and it cleared, signaling that I'm out of financial stress for a while.

　

6/12/12

I watched the first game of the major-league basketball championship (okay, just the last 15 minutes) with some hot lesbians from Norman who had trendy haircuts (after going to Shambhala Tuesday for the first time ever).

　

6/11/12

Bad case of Mondays.

　

6/10/12

Had a great time at Midsommarfest, spent most of the time there with the Shambhala Center booth talking to the general public about meditation.

　

6/9/12

Midsommarfest, mani-pedi at SIR, roller derby, watched several movies.

　

6/8/12

Next door neighbors gave me a tour of our roof.

　

6/7/12

After work I dropped off some equipment and went to Sheri & Jeff's place and we discussed the future and I felt happy to be alive.

　

6/6/12

Sent messages to several of my friends, the two words "something poignant," so that if I never talk to them again they'll say the last thing I ever said to them was something poignant.

　

6/5/12

I think about suicide so much it's probably inevitable that I'm eventually going to do it.

　

6/4/12

A woman at work named Margaret abruptly announced her retirement, quitting at the end of this week, which is suspicious and made me feel uneasy.

　

6/3/12

Took communion at The Church Of Christ.

　

6/2/12

Picked up my new mattress which I love.

　

6/1/12

The first night of sleep in the new apartment across the street from Mans Country I had a dream that I tried to go to Mans Country but it was closed down.

　

5/31/12

The move finished and the settling will start soon enough.

　

5/30/12

Another day mostly dedicated to the move, but the best part was that I made a casserole and went to Virginia's place which was the first time we'd seen each other since her miscarriage.

　

5/29/12

The trains quit running during rush hour and no one at the C.T.A. was giving any information or helping to direct people in any way.

　

5/28/12

Another emotional day spent on the move and again I felt good about the amount I got accomplished but still don't realize how far along I am in the process.

　

5/27/12

My first video chat with my parents was nice.

　

5/26/12

Paradise with Mark.

　

5/25/12

Still trying to get things back to normal at work, and there was a costume party in the evening that I wanted to go to but didn't because I didn't have enough time to put together a costume.

　

5/24/12

I felt good about the amount I got accomplished with the move.

　

5/23/12

Back to work downtown, went home and right to bed instead of going to any sex parties or anything.

　

5/22/12

It was my second (and last) day working at the "satellite" location (in Cicero, as opposed to the "central" location where I usually work downtown) and it was such a great feeling to be walking down an unfamiliar street at noon and stumble on a gay bar (and grill) to have lunch at.

　

5/21/12

First thing when I got up in the morning I read an e-mail from Virginia, "Losing the baby :(", and then at 8:30a she pre-term delivered Marvin the 3rd.

　

5/20/12

I felt very unhappy to the point of suicidal, barely ever getting out of bed, and in the afternoon my lip had swollen up so much that the piercing fell out and I decided not to put it back in that maybe it was what was impacting my mood (and not because of seeing that guy I dated for 3 months online cruising for dick) like because of messing up my energy meridians or something.

　

5/19/12

Walked all the way from roller derby to Spin feeling very unhappy about life, then after midnight the drag queen Milan paid tribute to Donna Summer which was amazing.

　

5/18/12

At 10:00p I got my lower lip pierced on the right side which was the first piercing I ever got.

　

5/17/12

I went to the Wellington Avenue Church and spent several hours with the first busload of Occupy Wall Street demonstrators who came to town for the NATO conference.

　

5/16/12

Touche the gay bar gives $1 off drinks on Wednesdays if you take your shirt off which is semi-fun for my exhibitionist ways.

　

5/15/12

The only thing I had to eat all day was cocoa cocaine (made mostly with shortening instead of butter and chocolate milk mix instead of actual cocoa).

　

5/14/12

I couldn't stop thinking about Phi Phi O'Hara and Madame LaQueer.

　

5/13/12

After the 1:00a performances of Phi Phi O'Hara and Madame LaQueer at Spin Nightclub, Phi Phi had a dance-off to her new never-before-heard song and pulled me out of the audience to dance onstage and banter which was pretty much the most exciting thing that's ever happened in the history of anything.

　

5/12/12

In the afternoon I decided to go to BoysTown and ended up spending like 12 hours there.

　

5/11/12

Cason and I went to the Navy Pier Imax to watch the new Tim Burton movie Dark Shadows, probably the last time I get to hang out with him before he moves to Boston (sad face).

One-sentence highlights from Brent's life 2/11 - 5/10/12

5/10/2012

More servings of meh.

　

5/9/2012

In the morning I was preoccupied with the lead singer from Against Me! announcing that she'll be transitioning genders, and in the afternoon I was preoccupied with the POTUS announcing his support of marriage equality for same-sex couples.

　

5/8/2012

Signed lease, ate a lot, Sex-Positive Film Series, ran into a guy I know named Kevin on the subway home.

　

5/7/2012

Kind of a wasted day, but I realized I may (or may not) be coming into financial difficulties with having the two apartments this month.

　

5/6/2012

Andrew the guy I worked with stopped into my place at 4:00a and when he left I slept a lot of the day, going outside again in the evening for Queer Dharma and the Full Moon Jam.

　

5/5/2012

The commuter train left Millennium Park on time at 9:20p and arrived on time at 10:14 in Homewood, and I met lots of Andrew the guy I worked with's familia.

　

5/4/2012

The 13th day of my second attempt doing the 30-day bikram challenge and I felt superstitious about the number 13.

　

5/3/2012

I knew it was possible that there would be a bus coming which was not being tracked on C.T.A. Bus Tracker so I took a leap of faith and went to the bus stop and when that untracked bus I'd hoped for came, it was like a small token of God's esteem for what I'm doing in my life.

　

5/2/2012

The problem with doing the late bikram class for the 30-day bikram challenge is that 5:45 to 7:45 are the hours I'm most likely to goof off and get nothing done.

　

5/1/2012

I went from my one apartment to my other apartment then as I was waiting for the bus, a guy I know named Andy stopped to talk to me and mentioned the guy I dated from December 15 until March 15 saying that what's-his-name "hasn't been around much lately," and I said, "Of course he hasn't been around much lately. That's because I killed him and cut him up into little pieces."

　

4/30/2012

The finale of Rupauls Drag Race was making me feel stressed.

　

4/29/2012

Talked to my mother and she named a bunch of ways in which my father is in really bad health, including news that he had a blood transfusion the previous week which seems kind of serious.

　

4/28/2012

I met Sheri at New Wave then went to the Chicago Outfit Roller Derby home opener and bought a season pass.

　

4/27/2012

Laura and I (and Vincent and Tom, all from The Shambhala Center) went to see Hunger Games at the movie theater formerly named Village North then ate at Leonas which was a great way to end the week.

　

4/26/2012

Virginia and I went to The Chicago Diner for Dining Out For Life which was great because she was acting in a way or mood which seemed to me to be very classically herself and "Virginia-like."

　

4/25/2012

Group-sex parties just don't give me the same thrill that they used to.

　

4/24/2012

Took some shirts to the cleaners, did some laundry, etc.

　

4/23/2012

I knew the winner of Rupauls Drag Race Season 4 was probably not going to be announced, so I stayed home and got to bed as early as possible.

　

4/22/2012

Rearranged the basement at the Shambhala Center so we could have regularly-scheduled Queer Dharma during Rigden Weekend.

　

4/21/2012

Worked in a booth at the Parent Resource Fair and went to Paradise on the way home.

　

4/20/2012

Nothing happened - seriously, I didn't even finish the weekly report.

　

4/19/2012

Took half the day off work to have sex with a prostitute, the first sex I'd had since what's-his-name.

　

4/18/2012

Went to La Cocina with Elizabeth C.

　

4/17/2012

The last night of VITA was not as busy as the next-to-last night, but there were still plenty of crazies.

　

4/16/2012

It feels good to be doing the 30-day bikram challenge in the morning and VITA in the evening, the alleged stabbing notwithstanding.

　

4/15/2012

People at The Shambhala Center celebrated the 70th birthday of Alice Dan which was a great start for Queer Dharma with a lot of great energy.

　

4/14/2012

The craziest VITA yet, rowing, bikram, then I told several people I was leaving to go to the Matt Alber concert at Jackhammer but laid down and had an amazing night of sleep instead.

　

4/13/2012

I woke up in the morning pre-occupied with how much stuff there was to get done at work, then after work I went and did rowing then signed up for the 30-day bikram challenge.

　

4/12/2012

I was busy busy at work and operating on a energetic frequency that didn't go well with people and niceties, and then right before I was about to go to sleep I was listening to Liza's radio show and she played "Joey" by Concrete Blonde which made me want to smash stuff.

　

4/11/2012

Woke up with tight / sore / tender / knot spot in between my shoulder blades; Lisa Junkin was the guest on The Deviant Minds Salon but I had trouble with the audio.

　

4/10/2012

I'd been thinking how the only "meaning" in life is having experiences of life, so I try to go out and have experiences but my experiences of life are often sucky (this was when I left home, went to Schubas, went right back home, encountering Cubs people way more than necessary).

　

4/9/2012

I didn't go to work and the weather was so beautiful, I bought some marked-down Easter chocolate and watched the episode of Rupauls Drag Race which was leaked a day early.

　

4/8/2012

Missed a day of the rowing challenge because I didn't have my shit together so I forgot the gym closed early since it was Easter.

　

4/7/2012

Virginia and I ate at Kanela and celebrated the end of her first trimester, and The Cubs had a game which brought about the entire mass of humanity that Saturday afternoon Cubs games bring.

　

4/6/2012

After work I went to the gym in Lakeview to do my 5k of rowing for the Strong Divas Of Chicago team rowing challenge, then back downtown to meet Elizabeth S. (the first time we've met outside of work) for a 7:00 showing of Titanic in 3D.

　

4/5/2012

Had a great time with Sheri, Ali, Jeff, Jonny, and Tommy at a quaint Italian restaurant.

　

4/4/2012

After work I went to do VITA but the doors were locked (yes I had read the e-mail saying Truman College was on spring break and were staying open specifically for VITA but that e-mail needed to do a better job of saying where the damn entrance was) and since there was no sign saying where the entrance was, I just went home because I was not in the mood to walk around the block and find the entrance.

　

4/3/2012

Went to Sheri's place after work and hung out with Tommy and everyone.

　

4/2/2012

Someone at work (an elderly man named Lester Stephens) disrespected me which gave me an opportunity to practice the anger management techniques discussed the night before at Queer Dharma.

　

4/1/2012

Shawn talked about the similarities between death of Jesus and the death of Trayvon Martin.

　

3/31/2012

More interesting VITA experiences, went to Digitour, then to Cason & Todd's.

　

3/30/2012

Everyone was talking about that damn lottery so much that I actually considered buying my first-ever lottery ticket, except I wasn't carrying any cash with me all day long.

　

3/29/2012

Did > 5k of rowing machine then saw Colin; I've been snappish with people's stupidity for the past few days so I just try to be calm and stay laid-back but then people ask me what's wrong, why am I being so quiet?

　

3/28/2012

Our morning exercise class was mostly jump rope intervals and then some other core-strengthening plank exercises, but we ended the class by doing kegels.

　

3/27/2012

It was like some kind of record day for me with maximum happiness, healthiness, and productivity.

　

3/26/2012

When the Twitter for Rupauls Drag Race tweeted #TheLibraryIsOpen, I tweeted #ReadMeDragRace and was the 3rd person to get read, and I laughed so hard at all the reads that it really cheered me up.

　

3/25/2012

Shawn, who preaches at the Lakeview Church Of Christ, has a great deal of respect from me -- when he was talking about the miracles of Jesus the first definition of "miracle" he read was from the Urban Dictionary in reference to Insane Clown Posse.

　

3/24/2012

My big accomplishment of the day was that I figured out my taxes, and I wish my daily accomplishments could be a lot lot bigger but hey at least it's something.

　

3/23/2012

I went to the post office and came across a big demonstration in the federal building plaza opposing the so-called "contraception mandate" which was a large spectacle designed to stir up strong feelings in the people witnessing it, and, oh, it did stir up strong feelings with me.

　

3/22/2012

A year and a half ago I liked Gretchen's collection better than Mondo's so I agreed with that Project Runway final decision, but I do like Mondo even though I still was not happy when his final collection was chosen over Austin's on the finale of Project Runway Allstars.

　

3/21/2012

At noon I went out to enjoy the beautiful weather and during my little walk there were a couple big WTFs (a free shuttle to Wal-Mart & presumably a tourist asking whether the city had paved over the Chicago River to build Wacker Drive).

　

3/20/2012

The Illinois primary election was happening but I didn't do any research so I just voted on the Republican ballot because there were no contested races except for President and I knew that I wanted to vote for Ron Paul.

　

3/19/2012

The world was stunned by the elimination of Willam Belli off the show Rupauls Drag Race.

　

3/18/2012

Met Virginia at Tweet and after breakfast went to the Church Of Christ for the first time since December 25, also officially joined The Shambhala Center after years of attending Queer Dharma.

　

3/17/2012

My strategy was to stay close to home and avoid Saint Patrick people.

　

3/16/2012

I told Joe that the way he'd been treating me was unacceptable.

　

3/15/2012

After 11, I caught a taxi from my place to Sheri's and spent the rest of the night there because I was having such a bad time and was worried I might do something I'd regret.

　

3/14/2012

Another day, at least the third day, of harsh acid in my digestive tract so still eating bland, healthy foods, no alcohol, no concentrated sugars.

　

3/13/2012

After being woken up again by those damn kids who do that firecracker shit, I ended up not going to work but the weather outside was beautiful and I went to Wicker Park, Bucktown, and the Sex-Positive Film Series.

　

3/12/2012

There was a productive office meeting for most of the morning.

　

3/11/2012

Sheri and I ate at Logan.

　

3/10/2012

Busy busy packed day with a lot of beautiful sight-seeing activites in Milwaukee before I caught the train home during the evening.

　

3/9/2012

Elizabeth who works in the cubicle next to me invited me out to a nice restaurant celebrating her birthday, then after work I caught the train to Milwaukee and was checked into my hotel and drunk before 10 (my special trip being an exception to the pregnancy-solidarity restrictions).

　

3/8/2012

I know I said I wasn't going to let Joe make me crazy, but the choice not to be crazy is a difficult practice.

　

3/7/2012

I wanted to go out of town to visit someplace else over the weekend (partially because of how Joe was contributing to my crazy the past several weekends), so I finalized my hotel and transportation for a 24-hour trip to Milwaukee.

　

3/6/2012

First session at Vie in the morning was nice, then after work I slept the entire train ride home waking up 4 stops after mine but feeling very good and rested so I decided to go in and do VITA and after doing 2 returns they put me on sorting which was the first time I ever did sorting (and it sucked).

　

3/5/2012

Joe sent me an e-mail saying that he'd been sick and tired and grumpy and I decided it was my last day being crazy, because I like Joe but I have enough to deal with before adding on whatever it is that Joe is dealing with.

　

3/4/2012

Got home from Give Peace A Dance around 3a and only left my apartment again for Queer Dharma.

　

3/3/2012

I was scheduled to go do VITA but I called in sick and rescheduled, then I set up a new Livejournal.

　

3/2/2012

Committed to 3 more months at Chicago Bikram, and went to work with a big rip in the seat of my pants.

　

3/1/2012

The numerology and cosmic gravitational forces were aligning to make the day challenging rather than cooperative for me, but Joe cooked us supper and it was delicious.

　

2/29/2012

Went to Laura's and we ate pizza from Luigis, went for a walk around the Lincoln Park pond (even though it was pretty much freezing and storming), and watched Harold & Maude.

　

2/28/2012

Signed up for 10 sessions during the month of March with my long time personal trainer Jill at her new exercise studio space, Vie.

　

2/27/2012

Had a great day at work - THANK GOD IT'S MONDAY - and other than that it was just average ordinary everyday craziness.

　

2/26/2012

After midnight I left my place and went to Big Gay Horror Fan's movie marathon that was going on from 8:00p until 8:00a.

　

2/25/2012

Wanted a burger with pizza and so I went to Chicagos Pizza on Montrose.

　

2/24/2012

Talked on the phone with Virginia about her pregnancy and told her I would follow through with my promise I'd always said that I would follow all the same dietary restrictions as she was throughout her pregnancy, except I just wanted to go out that night for one last night of drinking booze.

　

2/23/2012

Got excited when I found out that Diamanda Galas was performing in Chicago for the next 4 days, even though it was said to have been sold out.

　

2/22/2012

Went with co-workers to get ashes on forehead, but when I saw the line of people around the block waiting to get ashes on foreheads, I just kept walking.

　

2/21/2012

I felt a little apprehensive about starting the work week without Gloria, but it's not every morning when you get up and see that Sienna D'Enema posted another episode of Jiz and I laughed so hard at the new episode "Kimber Is A Dirty Lezzie."

　

2/20/2012

I realized I'm a planet that rotates, so as to only face the sun part of the time, and there's nothing I can do about those times when I'm facing away from the sun except just wait for my face to come back around to it.

　

2/19/2012

After watching Sharon Needles perform, Joe and I took a taxi from Boystown to his place and then we got together again at 10 that night for pizza, I also saw Jon during the morning and evening too.

　

2/18/2012

I dressed up and went to see Sharon Needles.

　

2/17/2012

The next week being Gloria's birthday week, she's taking the week of vacation off work and I've really been put in charge of things.

　

2/16/2012

After work I went to Sheri's and waxed my back a little and hung out, got home after 10:30 and called Joe whom I'd promised to call around 10, then went over and spent the night with him even though I already felt tired.

　

2/15/2012

Some days there are so many awesome fun exciting wonderful inspirational things going on but I get completely broke down and am unable to engage with the world in any way.

　

2/14/2012

It was the best Valentines Day ever, but that's not saying much.

　

2/13/2012

At work there's been one particular problem file that's been a tumor and I felt so happy and relieved to close it; I told co-workers that it'd probably be the highlight of my entire day (and it was).

　

2/12/2012

Early in the morning, Joe made awkward sexual advances and we persisted long enough in being awkward that eventually we had the best sex of my life - a cosmic explosion of energy and enlightenment and universal consciousness and it felt like I was high on some really great drug - then I went to Second Unitarian Church where the sermon was about sex.

　

2/11/2012
The way I felt about Joe had shifted, so I was acting reserved when we met at Garcias for a late supper, but when I took the rest of his food that he wasn't eating and scraped it onto my plate, he said, "That's my Brent."